I’m not sure that phrase would carry the same punch it did when that commercial was popular but there still exists some very special folks worth listening to and Burton Malkiel is one of them. He is author of A Random Walk Down Wall Street, one of the must have books for any investment library.

He was recently a featured speaker at an investment conference and here are some of the highlights I thought to pass on:

Against institutional investors, who are responsible for 98% of all trading, individuals don’t stand a chance, Malkiel said. “Institutions can’t beat the market because they are the market and individuals can’t expect to do any better… Telling someone you can’t beat the market is like telling a six-year old that Santa Claus doesn’t exist.”

“Technical analysis,” he said, “is most akin to astrology.” It does not give investors a dependable way to beat the market.

He conceded that there is a “modicum of truth” that momentum helps explain stock prices. But he said the resistance to momentum can be enormous and “there is not enough momentum to make excess profits.” “Whatever irregularities exist in stock prices, such as momentum, are so small that after transaction costs investors cannot profit,” he said.